What do I think I am doing?

I remember in April of 2007 when Penny was only weeks away from being born and I took my 4 year old (almost 5) to a girl's birthday party. This was probably the one of the worst times I had with him. He pulled down his pants to the 5 and 7 year old girls. Good thing the birthday girl's father was drunk and having a good time. He kept laughing that my son like to "drop trou!!" Later, during presents, he seriously crapped his pants. He was about to be 5 years old in July, why was this happening. We left right after that and I cried the whole way home and at home. I couldn't believe I was bringing another life into this world. What business did I have wanting another child when I can't even get the first one right.

The struggle continues. I see such a bright child in front of me. We do a lot of reading; he writes grocery lists for me. We take library trips. He does cub scouts. But we got the letter today. The one that says your son is in very real danger of staying back a year because he is "substantially below proficient" in reading. I just don't see how this is possible. I know that he might not be at proficient at reading yet, maybe he is at the "slightly below" level. But do they honestly think that keeping him back will keep his interest and be beneficial in the long run? Why do they want 6 year olds reading chapter books anyway. CAN'T HE JUST LEARN AT HIS OWN PACE? The expectations set at this age are ridiculous and I am so upset over this my heart is in throat. I don't think we can fit any more reading into the day honestly. And I loved how the letter suggested that we do these things with him. Like they think that we don't interact with him at all.